Welcome to my blog! I have been meaning to make a blog for sometime now but just haven't. I've wanted a place to share my experiences, creations, and a place to vent when I just have no where else to. Sound like a plan? Good. Then why not start this off with something that has been bothering me for sometime now.
Facebook. I hated it at first and refused to get one until the middle of my freshmen year in college. Peer pressure set in and I caved. Then once I got an Iphone it was all over. Facebook at my finger tips 24-7. But the problem lies here. It started giving me a false sense of friendships. And before I realized it people who I thought would never leave me behind had already forgotten about me. I had a friend lets call them X, who I thought was a person who I could always rely on. WE used to be BEST FRIENDS. I loved X like a sister. But then NOTHING. Literally nothing. X now basically doesn't want anything to do with me except be my "friend" on Facebook. X was invited to my wedding last July and didn't even reply much less come. You must be thinking "Well what did you do to piss X off?. Well that's the thing I didn't do anything at all. When I asked what was up I didn't really get any answers. I guess I should go ahead and mourn the loss of this friendship but it seems I have done a lot of that in the past 6 months. I really do miss X but they have apparently already moved on(according to Facebook). I just love and trust people too much and get burned too often. I have a terrible problem choosing friends. It seems rare to find people who actually care about being a good friend, not jump to conclusions, and actually care about the other person.
I look at my Facebook and it tells me that I have 345 friends.Well Facebook I sure don't feel that way. I can think of maybe 6 of that 345 that are actually my friend. So what do I do now? If I were to delete everyone who doesn't talk to me then what would be the point of having a Facebook? I just want to have friends again. I remember when I had 2 girl friends. We would go out to lunch or for a walk and just talk about everything. I miss that. (I know, I know I have a husband who I share everything with but sometimes its nice to have friends to talk things out with.) I miss being able to call Amber up and just talk. Not like she answered much but when she did it was nice. (oh yeah the Amber story. It's long so Ill save that for a later time)
Writing this I just realized what my new years resolution is. I want to find new people or really get to know some of the people I already know. SO NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR NEW FRIENDS. YOU MUST CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE, be HONEST, be LOYAL, and LIKE/PUT UP WITH MY WEIRDNESS.lol no but seriously I am..lol
P.S.
For my 6 friends on Facebook-
Its not that you guys arent enough but I dont even get to see/ hang out with you guys that often. So lets fix that!!!!
Thank you for reading my rambling thoughts. You really dont know how much it means to me. I hope this is the beginning of something Great.
My Darling CC, we only live about 45 minutes away from each other but I still wish we could spend more time together hanging out than we already do. You are one of my closest friends... well I consider you family. I hope you rekindle those friendships that you are seeking and I know that ours will continue to grow. Looking forward to reading more of your adventures! - MM
ReplyDeleteAs to having a husband and feeling guilty for reaching out for more companionship...
ReplyDeleteThat's not only normal, but healthy. You can't rely on ONE person to be your complete happiness. Don't buy into the Hollywood ideal of what "love is supposed to be", that you need NO ONE ELSE. I fell for that trap when I was first married and was sitting at home every night, cause Mr Matt is a homebody. It wasn't till I gave myself permission to seek friendships outside of being a couple did I discover karaoke and haunting.
As for more meaningful friendships...
What are you doing to make that happen? Are you going to events? Are you throwing parties? Are you actively seeing said 300+ friends in the real world? You are a busy person, and a married one at that, so I know your time is limited but it takes a level of commitment to do those things to cultivate relationships off the web.
I find that I have very fulfilling relationships that are just "online" but that is cause I also take the time to comment and email on their everyday life, not just "like" a post. Being a stay at home mom, I would DIE if I didn't have this way to reach out to people when I am "stuck at home". I can talk world politics AND change a diaper!
I guess all I am saying is, you get what you put into it. :)
Angela- I agree. Thank you for the confirmation about the husband/friends thing. It really does help. As for the "Real world" friendships. Believe it or not I am pretty socially awkward and that causes a lot of problems for me. I have anxiety and it also hinders me quite a bit. But I have been trying to get better about it. It also sucks that I am 21 about to be 22 but Im not into "partying" like most of my college friends like to do so that presents a problem as well. Let me ask this is it weird in your opinion that not to be into the party scene and I would rather have a couple friends over or go to a dark pub and chill?
ReplyDeleteI do agree that I have some online friendships but I guess my real problem is that majority of my friendships have morphed into online only which is not healthy for me. I am most of my problem I know.. but bad people dont help
I would love to be your friend on a more intimate level Sam! We could do couple things and dance under the pagan moon naked once a month. I need more friends too, not just an aquaintance (I'm pretty sure I spelled that wrong) with a bunch of "friends". I don't like to go out and party either, I'd rather hang out over a cup of coffee or watch an awesome movie or do art or something. I totally know where you're coming from and now I, personally, don't feel entirely like an outcast... because I honestly thought Colin and I were the only 20 somethings that don't go out and get fitshased every weekend or do an insane amount of drugs or what have you. Care for a movie night, then?
ReplyDeleteHaving people over is what LIVE FOR. I'm not one to go to clubs either. I do go to bars but only for karaoke. You just need to do what you do and people will fall into place, hun. I was the same as you when I was that age...it will come.
ReplyDelete